Dear Ludwig,
I've been seeing this guy for a couple of months now. He's totally great- like, really hot and smart and stuff. The problem is, he thinks Classical music is really boring. I love, love, love going to the symphony. My favorite composers are you (duh) and Mozart, and I subscribe to the BSO. Whenever my boyfriend gets near Symphony Hall, he goes catatonic. Is there a way to cure my boyfriend's Classical coma?
Thanks!
Classically Lonely, Boston
Dear Classically Lonely,
I think you need to take a serious look at your life and your priorities. Of course I'm your favorite composer. I'm an immortal genius. But Mozart? Seriously? Maybe that's your problem. Have you been taking your boyfriend to Mozart concerts? STOP!
Look, ClassiLo, you need to be able to share your interests with your partner. "Hot"-ness is overrated. I'm not the most attractive guy in the world, but I'm the greatest composer who ever lived. A man who doesn't like Classical music is like a man who doesn't like... breathing. That's just silly. Do you want to be with a silly guy? Of course not.
I wouldn't give up on this cretin just yet though. Let's do a little experiment. I am the most exciting composer of all time, and I'm premiering my awesome new cabaret act this summer at the Seven Hills Inn in Lenox, Massachusetts, only a few miles away from Tanglewood, where your BSO boys spend the summer. We're just two hours outside of Beantown. You can trick your boyfriend into coming by telling him you've gotten tickets to James Taylor. I can practically guarantee that your boyfriend will not fall asleep at LUDWIG LIVE! And if he does, I'll throw something at him.
Your faithful Ludwig
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